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Best Mitch Hedberg Jokes
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Sep 5 2007, 5:47 PM EDT
theelder
edit
45 words added
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be too long.
They say that the recipie for sprite is lemon and lime, but I tried to make it at home, and there's more to it than that. "You want some more home made sprite?" "Not until you figure out what the f**k else is in it!"
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(Word count: 341)
Feb 11 2007, 6:15 PM EST
LaughsWithWolves
added 1 + formatting
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30 words added
Change:
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.
I got my hair highlighted because I felt that some strands were more important than others.I got some
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(Word count: 294)
Feb 2 2007, 11:53 PM EST
LaughsWithWolves
added 1
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16 words added
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I got my hair highlighted because I felt that some strands were more important than others.
I got some tartar-control toothpaste a while back.
I've still got tartar, but it's under control. I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out.I like an escalator because
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(Word count: 263)
Jan 26 2007, 11:48 PM EST
LaughsWithWolves
added 1
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16 words added
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got some tartar-control toothpaste a while back. I've still got tartar, but it's under control.
I
think pickles are cucumbers that sold out.I like an escalator because an escalator can never break. It can only become
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(Word count: 247)
Oct 6 2006, 2:29 AM EDT
LaughsWithWolves
added 1
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3 words deleted
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I think pickles are cucumbers that sold
Jokes
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out.
I like an escalator because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an
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(Word count: 228)
Jun 30 2006, 8:35 PM EDT
Anonymous
edit
20 words added
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Perhaps I'd rather light a stick, and have my roommates wake up with false hopes.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I haven't slept for 10 days, because that would be too long.
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(Word count: 222)
Jun 27 2006, 2:36 AM EDT
LaughsWithWolves
formatting
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2 words added
1 word deleted
1 image added
1 image deleted
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Jokes:
Jokes
:
I like an escalator because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator temporarily out-of-order" sign. Just "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience." We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there.I think
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(Word count: 201)
Jun 26 2006, 1:23 PM EDT
emodHst
editing profanity
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1 word added
1 word deleted
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"Fuck
"F**k
it. Cut 'em up! We can play tennis later."I like cinnamon rolls. That's why I wish they made, like, a cinnamon roll incense. 'Cause I don't always have
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(Word count: 201)
May 11 2006, 7:05 PM EDT
Anonymous
Added jokes.
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193 words added
1 image added
Change:
Mitch Hedberg (February 24, 1968 - March 29, 2005) was a stand-up comedian who based most of his jokes on absurd observations about the world
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(Word count: 200)
May 11 2006, 6:50 PM EDT
Anonymous
create
No content added or deleted.
Change:
Created by Anonymous May 11 2006, 6:50 PM EDT for: no reason given
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